Relationship Advice....

So I've been doing some thinking over the last few weeks. About stuff. Here are some suggestions concerning ways NOT to end relationships:

1. Go to Europe to visit your sister, drink in excess, do lots of drugs and fuck a different stranger every day (sometimes more than one per day). When you confess what you did, reply that you're not sure why you did it.

2. Fuck one of your teachers at school for a few weeks (a couple months?). When your significant other asks 'what's the deal with the two of you, are you cheating on me?', reply that the two of you are just really good friends, nothing is going on and that there are some things that you can only talk to them about.

3. Tell your significant other that you love them so much, can't wait to be married and spend the rest of your life with them (all throughout the duration of a 5 year relationship). When they finally break up with you because you're a liar and a grimey cheat, tell them the reason you aren't together anymore is because they never really understood you anyway. On top of that, make sure to mention how they could never stimulate you intellectually.

4. Whatever you do, do NOT take responsiblity for cheating on your significant other. That would be unfair for you to deal with because you have so much on your plate already. (What with all the cheating, lying, drinking, drugs, etc.)

I'm sure there's more to it. But this is all I can think of now. Let's see how long it takes for me to receive a scathing comment in reply. Step right up and place your bets! Mean? Well, maybe. But the truth hurts.....